I've been avoiding it for the past six years, but now it's time... I must renew my passport & while I'm at it, might as well take care of a few other documents. It's been playing on my mind ever since the ring made it's way onto my left hand... do I finally adopt my husband's surname or keep my beloved maiden name?
For all intents & purposes, I HAVE adopted my married name - just make things easy. Anywhere I go (my child's school, the doctor's office, the dentist, etc.), I"m referred to by my married name, but I clung on so desperately to my maiden name by keeping it on all my documents...except for one...my driver's licence. I must have been drunk when I went to renew - or in the throws of newly wedded bliss. I brought my marriage certificate & changed it legally to reflect my married status on the spot. But, rethinking the complexity of the official name change, I backed down on everything else.
Perhaps a part of me didn't want to change it. Why? Well, I've had my maiden name all of my life. From the moment my parents brought me home. At the same time, I'd like my kids know that mommy has the same surname as theirs & daddy's...in an official capacity.
You might now be asking, "So where does "Stephanie" come in???"
Enter Mrs. Fitali...St. Maurice, Junior Kindergarten. "STAY-FAY-NEE-UGH, you're name is much too difficult to say, so from now on, you'll be 'Stephanie'. I'm sending a note home to your parents.". And in my then-broken English, I said, "OH-KAI MEESUS FEE-TAH-LEE!"
That certainly didn't deter people from using my original Stefania. In fact, most of my close friends (paesani) will still call me Stefania or Stefa'. Others use Stephanie, but they're in the minority. And the majority will call me Steph (for that matter, Stef would work just fine too!!!).
So I could go back to Stefania, the name originally intended for me when mamma & papa brought me home, while the world still calls me "Steph/Stef" & all would be well in my world...except I still have to figure out my married name/maiden name dilema. Keep in mind, in Italy, women don't change their surnames when they marry... (YES, I'M FULLY AWARE OF THE FACT THAT I DON'T LIVE IN ITALY - I'M JUST SAYING, OKAY?!?!). I do, however, live in Canada & the same rule applies to Quebec. So...
I now face having to either change my driver's licence back to it's former state, or leave it as is & instead, change every other document to my married name. Bear in mind, that means I give up my original birth certificate & get a new one with my maiden name listed only as a nee. AND I'd have to get used to the new OHIP which has to be renewed every so often...whereas my old one is so uncomplicated!
I'm at a crossroads & I don't know which way to go...I'm very much waffling...can you show me the way??? We already had the debate over Christmas lunch & I left with an even bigger headache that what I started with. What would you do....and why???
I will keep you apprised of the situation...stay tuned!
2 comments:
I kept my maiden name. There have been no problems having a surname that's different from my daughter's. I always hoped that keeping my name would serve as an example to her, teaching her that women don't have to give up their identity once they marry, and that they should always be proud of where they came from. Of course, I've been known to be a bit rabid when it comes to stuff like that.
Thanks Lynn. The great thing is that we have a choice... I did make a decision. I will "assume" my married name, but keep my maiden name on most of my documents. It's the one decision that makes me feel comfortable.
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