Sleepy-time Sissy Steph

A sissy is a person regarded as weak or cowardly. That just about sums up my disposition when it comes to sleep habits in my family.

As I type this, I currently have both my children in their respective rooms...sobbing...respectively. Why? Because I'm a sleepy-time sissy.

When they were teeny tiny babies, both posed problems with respect to sleep. One was colicky, while the other had GERD. In order to get some much-needed shut-eye, I'd let them sleep with me. As John Lennon once said, "Whatever gets you through the night"...and that quickly became my motto.

Fast forward to now & I think I've been way too lax. Getting the kids to sleep in their own beds is a constant battle of wills. Lately, their wills appear to be much stronger than my own. I've accommodated their whims: they lie down with me in my bed, I shuttle myself between all beds, they lie down on the sofa when it's not a school night until they conk out, etc. But tonight, I'm gonna win this. I don't care if I have to pop extra-ultra-mega-strength ibuprofen! I'm reclaiming my bed! And I'm not going to drag my sorry butt out of my toasty-warm haven at 3:34am when either child starts whining about needing me to lie down with them because they're having a dream about SpongeBob SquarePants (though I must confess to finding him rather creepy as well). Nope! I'm staying in my room. They'll have to cry it out. That's all there is to it. Finito.

Am I being mean? I feel mean. I'm not mean, am I?

They're still crying... In the amount of time it's taken me to type these paragraphs, they're still crying.

I'm not going to break my resolve. Mind you, it may be a different story if this continues on for another 2 hours. Well see...

Moving out!

The transition back to work has been a tad bumpy for the entire family (as you can tell by my absenteeism). One of the major issues has been the early wake-up call. I set my alarm for 5:45 - 6am (usually necessitating some pounding of the snooze button!). My husband can sleep through a tornado, so that's not the problem. My son, however, isn't so keen on the 6am alarm; herein lies the problem. Shall I take this opportunity to divulge my deepest, darkest secret? I'm a co-sleeper. Shhhhh...don't tell!

For almost four years, we've shared our bed with at least one of our children. Our daughter co-slept with us until she moved into her own room at 21 months. The move was prompted by the birth of our son. Don't think we didn't try to accommodate both children at first. The project failed with our son waking every hour on the hour for feeding, and our daughter walking around in a sleep-deprived daze. Out went the girl & in came the boy! Our son, who will be 2 years old in a few weeks, had been sharing our bed up until this past weekend. It was necessary for him to move out so that he could get an extra hour or two of dream time. We found him to be cranky when he woke earlier due to my new routine. Add to that the fact that everyone is adjusting to not having mommy around at all times, and you've got one ticked-off toddler.

I didn't want him to move out, honest! I'd still have both kids in our room if I didn't have to get up so early in the morning. The great (sad) part is that both children adjusted so well to being in their own room. My husband doesn't mind having more room either. I think I'm the only one suffering! I'm missing having my children cuddled up against me in the morning (sniff sniff).

I know co-sleeping is a huge issue of debate; I've heard from both sides. Certain people would scold me about raising overly-needy children while others thought what we did was sweet. I didn't find it sweet at all! In my mind, at least in the beginning, it was more a survival tactic. He slept - we slept...simple as that. Well, it appears now that everyone is sleeping, that is, except for me. I've spent the past few nights in a very light sleep pattern, awakening at every sound. I'm sure I'll get over it....in a few years...perhaps.

Sleeping Like a Baby

I should be getting ready for bed, but I'm not. Why? Because it's pointless, really. Why in the world would I get ready for bed, fall into a deep sleep, knowing full well that I'm going to awaken to blood-curling wails and cries for "moooooommmmmyyyyyy"?.

Where did I go wrong? How did I fail so miserably? Did I read the wrong books? Take the wrong advice? I ask these questions because this situation is wrong - and detrimental to my health! I haven't had eight hours of uninterrupted sleep in over three years. Something MUST be done.

A mamma in a sleep-deprived state is bound to make mistakes. Did I err in bringing my daughter to bed with us back in January of 2004? Perhaps. At the time, I felt that it was a win-win situation: she slept - we slept. Perfect!.....Well, not quite. While Eliana did make the transition from our bed to her own bed at the tender age of twenty-one months, it wasn't & isn't exactly a smooth one. The hurdles revealed themselves following the birth of her baby brother, Massimo. All of a sudden, the child who dozed off effortlessly began posing problems aplenty!

Enter Massimo - a tiny, colicky "gerdling" (suffering from infant reflux). He sobbed his little heart out unless he slept ON my chest, in an upright position. That's when I began looking less like myself and more like Morticia Adams.

It had been suggested that I investigate "Ferberizing" my children. Been there - done that - bought the t-shirt! I lasted two nights before I picked my heart up off the floor and crazy-glued it back together. I admit it: I am a wuss!

I tried Elizabeth Pantley's"no cry sleep solution", and I must admit that there was very little crying. I must also add that there was very little sleeping...NEXT???

Well, there's the option that we seem to have adopted: Co-sleeping. Dr. Sears is the one of North America's biggest advocates of bringing baby into your bed. His "scientific research" proves that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS, helps babies to thrive, enhances intellectual and emotional development...and can solve all the world's problems (okay, I threw the last one in myself!). For what it's worth, none of the "scientific research" prompted me to resort to sharing my bed with hubby + baby. No, it was strictly a survival tactic. I needed to sleep.

So why am I lamenting all over again? Well, my son has taken to thrusting his diapered bottom in my face at various points throughout the night. I often find myself being smothered by a miniature behind, covered in an Elmo pyjama. If that isn't enough to make you curl up into a fetal position and pray for Zzzzzzs, my daughter has taken to crying out at 4am every-single-night, until either my husband or I join her in her room. HELP!!!

I'm back to square one. I'm pooped and in desperate need of a solution - PRONTO! Until then, I can only daydream (since I rarely enter into REM) of a time when I can sleep a fitful sleep, and wake feeling revived and refreshed. Dare to dream....ummm...daydream.