The kids are excited. Clothing & shoes are labelled. Backpacks are packed. Lunch bags are ready. If everything is ready....then why am I not? I'm not ready for this. The start of this school year is weighing on me; making it feel like the start of a definitive new chapter in my life.
As much as last year was a biggie with daughter starting junior kindergarten, I found solace in the fact that son was still home with me. This feeling kept me going - until the other day. That's when the "OH NOOOOOOO! THEY'RE BOTH GOING TO SCHOOL THIS YEAR!" hit me hard.
These are my babies. It wasn't that long ago that I rocked them to sleep & sang them lullabies. Now, instead of rocking them to sleep, I allow a couple of "cuddle nights" per month. This is when I welcome them into bed so we can have a sleepover in mommy & daddy's room. Truth be told, it's more for my benefit than theirs...but they don't need to know that, do they?
There's a part of me that wants to keep them by my side forever & ever & ever. I'm a self-proclaimed sMOTHERer, but I'm trying to keep that instinct in check. The fact that son will have the same teacher that daughter had last year makes it a tad easier for me to let go, as it were. This teacher is a God-send! If you've ever tried to imagine the perfect teacher, this lady fits the bill: patient, understanding, welcoming, nurturing. Basically, she's everything that a nervous parent (who me???) needs when initiating their child into the education system.
And so, it is with optimism & a heavy heart that I will walk both my children to school tomorrow. I have my big, dark sunglasses for my solo-trek home. I may have to have a chocolate bar or a glass of wine...or, heck...maybe both! I will bake the "happy 1st day of school" cake for my children (an initiative I started last year). I will accept that my babies are growing up. And I will be okay.
Happy 1st day of school!
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