Sweet tables. They're a staple at Italian weddings & bridal showers. An event is incomplete without the very presence of a ginormous table covered with sickly sweet goodies, guaranteed to give you a stomach ache.
It used to be that the Italian mammas would spend hours lovingly preparing sweets to bring to the bridal showers of family members or close friends. These delicacies were put out for all to enjoy before lunch was served, and to accompany coffee & dessert after the meal. Nowadays, they're used more as "take-aways".
I arrived at a bridal shower today, eagerly eyeing the tasty concoctions that made up an enormous sweet-table. Unfortunately, said concoctions were all covered with plastic wrap or foil - so I realized I'd have to wait. Eventually, the meal was over & a member of the bridal party informed the ladies in attendance that plastic trays were provided so that everyone could take home SOME treats......AND THEY WERE OFF....such a display of gaucheness! Such a total disregard for the unspoken rules of the sweet-table!
Women nearly trampled each other vying for the prized first-spot at the sweet table. One woman lost her shoe. Another pushed her elderly mother out of the way to get third-place in line. Utter mayhem! I, on the other hand, sat calmly at my table, sipping my espresso & chuckling smugly. I would wait. There was plenty to go around. Right? Right???
Half an hour later, I went to collect my tray... and was able to get my hands on five cookies. FIVE COOKIES! And one of them was broken - or perhaps someone had taken a bite out of it; I'm not certain. Here's where the rules come in:
1. Never butt-in. Wait your turn, or you may have your arm severed by a woman eager to chow down on an amaretto cookie...or two...or more.
2. Do not bring your own Tupperware container - it's just tacky.
3. One tray per person, ladies! No one wants to hear the excuse about you making an additional three trays for your mother, sister-in-law & canary. Stop being greedy - there are other women waiting their turn (and I was one of them!!!)
4. Do not fill your tray to bursting - you MUST be able to close it. Not doing so will result in you looking like a pig.
5. Acknowledge that this is a gift. It is NOT your RIGHT to bring home a tray of cookies, so quit being so indignant about not getting the six almond crescent cookies you were eyeing since before lunch. Tough luck, someone else got them.
2 comments:
I came upon this posting when I was searching for pics of sweet tables. More for the artistic arrangement of it than for the actual pics of sweets. Your posting came up from the pic of the sweet table you have...and oh my god, I laughed and laughed. You are hilarious!!! The part about possibly having a half bitten cookie...I am still laughing over that. Keep up with your writing, you're good at it!!!
Well, Pasquale & Angela, happy to have been able to provide a laugh or two... though the half-bitten cookie (it was one of those cookies shaped like a peach & dipped in sugar) is still a sore spot. Thanks for reading!
Post a Comment